By Greg Hoover
Addiction is a pervasive and challenging issue affecting millions worldwide. Traditional approaches to overcoming addiction often involve a combination of medical treatment, therapy, and support groups. However, the spiritual dimension of addiction recovery is equally crucial. Thomas Jay Oord’s concept of the “uncontrolling love of God” offers a profound framework for understanding and overcoming addiction. This essay explores how Oord’s theology can provide a transformative perspective for individuals struggling with addiction, emphasizing the empowering and non-coercive nature of divine love.
Understanding the Uncontrolling Love of God
Thomas Jay Oord, a contemporary theologian, introduces the concept of the uncontrolling love of God in his works, particularly in his book “The Uncontrolling Love of God: An Open and Relational Account of Providence.” Oord’s theology is grounded in the belief that God’s love is inherently non-coercive and relational. God does not force or manipulate outcomes but works through persuasive love, inviting creation into a cooperative relationship.
Oord’s theology challenges traditional notions of divine omnipotence, where God is often seen as an all-controlling being who can unilaterally alter circumstances. Instead, Oord posits that true love, including divine love, respects the autonomy and agency of individuals. This perspective aligns with the principles of open and relational theology, which emphasizes the dynamic and interactive relationship between God and creation.
Addiction and the Need for Control
Addiction can be understood as a condition where an individual loses control over their substance use or behavior, leading to negative consequences. The struggle for control is central to the experience of addiction. Many individuals turn to addictive substances or behaviors to cope with feelings of powerlessness, pain, or trauma. However, the more they seek control through addiction, the more they become enslaved by it.
Traditional approaches to addiction recovery often emphasize the need for control and willpower. While these aspects are important, they can also create a sense of failure and shame when individuals relapse or struggle to maintain sobriety. This cycle of control and failure can perpetuate the feelings of powerlessness that fuel addiction.
Applying the Uncontrolling Love of God to Addiction Recovery
Oord’s concept of the uncontrolling love of God offers a transformative perspective for individuals struggling with addiction. This theology emphasizes the importance of autonomy, agency, and relationality in the recovery process. Here are several ways in which the uncontrolling love of God can support addiction recovery:
1. Empowerment and Autonomy
Oord’s theology emphasizes that God’s love respects and honors individual autonomy. In the context of addiction recovery, this means recognizing that true healing and transformation cannot be imposed from the outside. Instead, individuals must be empowered to make their own choices and take responsibility for their recovery.
The uncontrolling love of God encourages a shift from external control to internal empowerment. Rather than relying solely on external forces (such as treatment programs or support groups) to control their addiction, individuals are invited to cultivate inner strength, resilience, and self-awareness. This empowerment can lead to a more sustainable and fulfilling recovery journey.
2. Relational Support
Addiction often leads to isolation and broken relationships. Oord’s theology highlights the relational nature of divine love, emphasizing that God works through relationships to bring about healing and transformation. This perspective encourages individuals to seek and nurture supportive relationships in their recovery process.
Support groups, therapy, and healthy social connections can play a crucial role in addiction recovery. The uncontrolling love of God reminds us that these relationships should be characterized by compassion, empathy, and mutual respect, rather than judgment or coercion. By fostering authentic and supportive relationships, individuals can experience a sense of belonging and connection that counteracts the isolation of addiction.
3. Acceptance and Non-Judgment
Shame and guilt are common experiences for individuals struggling with addiction. These feelings can create barriers to recovery by reinforcing a negative self-image and perpetuating the cycle of addiction. Oord’s theology of uncontrolling love emphasizes acceptance and non-judgment, reflecting the unconditional nature of divine love.
Incorporating this perspective into addiction recovery means creating an environment where individuals feel accepted and valued, regardless of their struggles or past mistakes. This acceptance can help individuals develop self-compassion and reduce the shame that often hinders their progress. By experiencing the unconditional love of God through supportive relationships and communities, individuals can begin to heal and rebuild their self-worth.
4. Cooperative Healing
Oord’s theology suggests that God’s love invites individuals into a cooperative relationship. In the context of addiction recovery, this means recognizing that healing is a collaborative process that involves both divine grace and human effort. Rather than expecting God to unilaterally remove the addiction, individuals are encouraged to actively participate in their recovery journey.
This cooperative approach aligns with many addiction recovery models that emphasize personal responsibility, active participation, and holistic healing. By understanding recovery as a partnership with the uncontrolling love of God, individuals can find strength and hope in knowing that they are not alone in their journey. This partnership also encourages them to seek out and utilize the resources and support available to them.
The 12 Steps of Uncontrolling Love
Applying these ideas to overcoming addiction, I adapted the 12 Steps of AA to reflect the perspective of uncontrolling love. They are as follows:
1. We realized we could not overcome our habits singlehandedly — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that cooperating with the uncontrolling love of God could help restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to actively partner with God’s uncontrolling love for the healing of our woundedness.
4. We made a searching, honest, and non-judgmental spiritual inventory of ourselves.
5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of where we missed the mark in our lives.
6. We were entirely ready to work together with God to heal and transform our mistakes.
7. We humbly asked God to help manage our shortcomings, and to cooperate with God to do so.
8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them.
9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when doing so would injure them or others.
10. We continued to take a personal, honest, and non-judgmental inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God’s uncontrolling love, praying for understanding of our sacred purpose and the power to partner with God for our healing and wholeness.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message of partnering with the uncontrolling love of God to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs, for the healing of our bodies, our souls, and our world.
Conclusion
Thomas Jay Oord’s concept of the uncontrolling love of God offers a powerful and transformative perspective for individuals struggling with addiction. By emphasizing empowerment, relational support, acceptance, and cooperative healing, this theology provides a framework that respects the autonomy and agency of individuals while offering the unconditional love and support needed for recovery. Incorporating the principles of the uncontrolling love of God into addiction recovery can help individuals break free from the cycle of control and powerlessness, leading to a more sustainable and fulfilling path to healing and transformation.