No Quick Fix
By Shannon Davy Mimbs
We must push past the “body shop” to psychotherapy as the cultivation of wisdom.
Farming has everything to do with nature. From the condition of the soil and seeds to the time of the year when crops are in season, it is a relationship with “the land.” Whenever my grandfather referred to “the land,” it represented the various processes involved in taking care of the animals, crops, fences, ponds, and other aspects of what we called home. “You’re always farming,” he whispered, teaching us that care and responsibility are relational commitments. We did not clock in and clock out. It was a sustaining awareness and cultivation of well-being with countless responsibilities involved in the process.
As a young boy riding the tailgate of a rusty Green F-150, farming could be summarized by a term that used to result in a cringe whenever I heard it—“work.” Today, many years later, this represents something for which I am grateful. I consider it a joy and privilege when I arrive at my office. When younger, though, I knew the word meant making choices and bearing responsibility that sometimes went against what I wanted to do any given day. I knew because I had learned the term to represent an experience of what it meant to tend to (and learn from) “the land.”
Though only completing 3rd grade, my grandfather would eventually own and work 300 acres of land in South Georgia and open several successful businesses in the community. Once, when facing a job offer that afforded him the privilege of working in a more influential position at the state level, I recall his story of “gettin’ me some college” as he filled out the application. Call it what you will. He was confident in the education “the land” provided. Selected to interview, his passion and insightful vision sealed the deal. He received a call that evening to say that he was the right fit for the job. And indeed, he was. Some years later, he and my grandmother opened the Altamaha restaurant, a hub of lingering conversation and food seasoned with what was known to be “soul.” It was another context in which I witnessed my grandfather practice care and responsibility, sustaining awareness, and the cultivation of well-being. He did this through relational connections.
I write this from my office in Marietta, Georgia. The winding path I have taken did not lead to 300 acres with constant fences to mend. However, as a licensed psychotherapist, it is not without sacramental significance that a painting of a majestic bull hangs above my bookshelf. The processual flow of my life to this day has everything to do with the formative power and legacy of my grandfather.[1] There are meaningful correlations between caring for “the land” and extending care and compassion to persons in our community. Humanity, after all, is not an exception to nature. Some say we are the exemplification instead. And I would agree. My approach to psychotherapy, and that of the grander cosmos, is that relationality is the heart of reality. And reality is always becoming.
There are ample differences between the context of my work today and that which I experienced while growing up. As I look out the window, I see that the parking lot does not have the vibrancy of an open pasture. The adjacent buildings have trees in view to manicure the plaza. And the air conditioning is a welcomed contrast to the stifling Georgia heat. In various ways, though, psychotherapy offers a microcosmic training ground for a client’s world. It is an experiential journey of tending to (and learning from) the landscape of one’s past and present relationships. It offers a context of meaning-making and exploring what matters most. The process is personal but not privatized. It is an attunement to the flow of our lives and that of the universe.
While there are various aspects of the open and relational perspective that are no doubt game-changers, our focus will build from the relational vision of “Amipotence” as defined by Thomas Jay Oord.[2] His convincing work, while denouncing a long-held church doctrine of Omnipotence, may serve as a catalyst of inclusion that spans manifold divides, both religious and otherwise. His description of God’s “Amipotence” has transdisciplinary implications. This is especially the case with divinity actively involved in everyday natural processes. But it acknowledges other “forces, factors, actors, and agents” at work as well.[3] For psychotherapy, it provides a way forward in capturing, in theory, what therapists experience daily in the lives of those whom they serve. The approach does not necessitate a specificity of religion, only the priority of Love.
In what follows, I will survey some aspects of an open and relational approach to psychotherapy. The essay particularly zooms in to explore therapeutic alliance and the orienting aim of the therapeutic journey. My hope is that one encounters the relevance of each that extends beyond the therapist’s office.
Therapeutic Alliance: Beyond the Body Shop
Ask any psychotherapist who has been in the field for some time, and you will likely hear that “connection is key.” If one does not connect relationally with one’s client, then it is nearly impossible for the person to embrace openness to the process of transformation for the better. Who could blame a person for this? We probably each know the feelings of awaiting a doctor while atop an examination table. It seems to feel a bit colder than our liking. Our awareness heightens. The amygdala often cranks up. It does not take long before anticipation intensifies, and we are ready to leave. Granted, this is not always the case. The point of the illustration is to emphasize that whether an examination table or the proverbial therapist’s couch, initially, one may not naturally experience feeling safe, seen, and heard. Entering the therapeutic task is entering the world of another. As such, hospitality and compassion open the door.
Contrary to stigmas that plague our culture concerning mental health services, “fixing” someone is not the aim. Simply put, persons are not machines. Last week, I had to leave my Jeep with a mechanic because various parts needed to be fixed. The problem was diagnosed. The parts replaced. Over time, machines will break down. While this terminology is popular in everyday language, people are much more than the mechanical workings of abstracted “parts.” An open and relational view contends that persons, though unique in distinction, are interconnected both within and without in an entangled, timefull, processual flow. What may be more helpful than a metaphor of machinery is the melodious flow of music. Each note, moment of rest, or timing abstracted from the context of the composition loses relational significance as a slice of the score. There is both distinction and belonging, uniqueness and essential togetherness. Various philosophers and theologians have turned to this imagery as a way of getting at dynamic processes comprising reality. Another example would be the nature of time. Theoretical physicist Lee Smolin notes—“Motion is nothing but the expression of time.[4] Beyond a spatialized thing, the processual flow of relationships is a fundamental aspect of reality. These sample nuances offer valuable insights as to how one’s perspective of reality informs how we attend the world before us.[5] Concerning the world of psychotherapy, if we view our role as being “fixers,” then it alters the methods and expectations of the approach.
Open and relational thinkers are not only concerned with relationships as primary. There is the claim that love is the orienting way of relating well. Some may say that love is one among many values. Others contend it is the essence of the divine. Many will consider it sacred in some form or fashion. In so many ways, love is “the most powerful force in the universe.”[6] It nudges and beckons Nature (humans included) towards harmonious connections of intensifying values of beauty, goodness, truth, and purpose. Oord defines love as “to act intentionally, in relational response to God and others, to promote overall well-being.”[7] If we merely seek unqualified progress or power, it can be confusing at best and a free-for-all at worst. It is like acknowledging creative evolution without a coordinating purpose. Love is the essential qualifier for meaningful transformation. This is crucial in facing an open future. Our choices and habits have transformative value with future implications.
In psychotherapy, we may witness this in approaches that are implicitly or explicitly utilitarian. We learn needed tools with the goal of eradicating problematic symptoms. But why are the symptoms problematic? This brings us back to the need for healthier relationships in our lives. Otherwise, we may modify behaviors without experiencing deep-seated meaning or contentment that emerges from embodied, relational rhythms oriented by love.
Therapeutic orientation: The cultivation of wisdom
The word “therapy” comes from therapeia, which means “healing.” Much of this healing transpires over a course of timefull care and responsibility, sustaining awareness and the cultivation of well-being. This has everything to do with the choices we make and the habits which forge our character that is in process. Our culture is inundated with portals of information. Yet, in so many ways, “we are suffering from a wisdom famine in the West.”[8] As important as knowledge may be, and no matter how helpful, it does not guarantee a life well lived. Hence, at the heart of psychotherapy, I hold the cultivation of wisdom to be front and center. What does it mean to live wisely? The aim is for persons to begin orienting their lives towards the presence and power of uncontrolling love.[9] The greatest force in the world, namely that of Love, is the preeminent attribute of the divine, according to Oord. Importantly, an open and relational approach affords interpretive room for various spiritual frames. It invites persons of diverse disciplines, cultures, and religions to consider what is in the best interest of promoting overall well-being given the crises of our world.
One of the significant distinctions of Amipotence from the stifling doctrine of Omnipotence concerning psychotherapy is that moral freedom and creativity are essential in light of an open future. We are not locked into a scripted destiny. There is genuine power and possibility for positive changes to occur. Think about what this may mean for an individual, couple, family, or communities at large. Whether explaining the future to be set in stone due to the fundamental laws of physics or resulting from God’s “perfect plan,” determinism strips away genuine, responsive agency. This is true no matter the complexity or scale. And this too often plagues clients’ interpretive frameworks by which they navigate their lives. For those influenced by such religious or philosophical beliefs, it can prove disastrous to their sense of worth and the value ascribed to the world. The meaning of life feels different when trauma or abuse are described as predestined occurrences that could not have been otherwise.
Considering the future not yet existent, and the past exerting formative power moment by moment, many clients feel they do not have agency. It could be due to loss, hardship, or other forms of hurt that resonate with disorienting violence to self and others. Once a psychotherapist facilitates a strengthened alliance, the client becomes more open not only to learning new skills but also to feeling and responding in new-found ways. An open and relational approach creates room for persons to consider the relational context of their life events. There is an opportunity to nurture hope that their future does not have to replicate their past. The task is not to focus on finding or believing that there is a good or divine “reason for everything.” The shift is towards attending the world oriented to rhythms of uncontrolling love. In so doing, persons may tend to (and learn from) the landscape of meaningful relationships with self, others, the world, and a sense of the sacred.
Bio: Shannon Davy Mimbs is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice with East Cobb Counseling (Marietta, GA). He is also a doctoral student in open and relational theology at Northwind Theological Seminary.
OORD’S DRABBLE* RESPONSE
Shannon Davy Mimbs draws from his experience as a psychotherapist to advocate for the relevance of amipotence. His personal stories illustrate why rethinking God’s love and power matters. I’m encouraged that he sees amipotence as offering a meaningful framework for therapists who witness daily the complex realities of human struggle. Shannon’s concept of a “therapeutic alliance” beautifully captures the collaborative essence of amipotence. I agree that the open future faced by free moral creatures is central to healing. While the past influences us, it does not fully determine us. This offers hope: the future can change through loving, empowered choices.
For more on Oord’s view of the basic ideas in open and relational theology, see this article.
* A drabble is an essay exactly 100 words in length.
[1]. This includes most assuredly other relationships with family and friends. My grandfather’s influence is representative of the loving presence of various persons in my life (past and present).
[2]. Thomas Jay Oord, The Death of Omnipotence and Birth of Amipotence (Grasmere, Id.: SacraSage Press, 2023), 120. Oord notes, “I coined this word to stress the priority of love over power in God. Divine love (ami) comes logically and conceptually prior to divine power (potens). Amipotence presumes that we best understand God in general, and divine power in particular, if we give love pride of place. Divine love preconditions and governs divine power. Love comes first.” Given my position of panentheism, I hold the same logic true in the healing journey of psychotherapy. Transformation towards a life of love involves openness and participation with moment-by-moment nudges to choose the most loving choices possible given one’s situation or circumstances.
[3]. Thomas Jay Oord, “Statistics and Free Will,” Thomas Jay Oord, September 6, 2022, https://thomasjayoord.com/index.php/blog/archives/statistics-free-will
[4]. Lee Smolin, Time Reborn, first mariner books edition. (Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2014), 35.
[5]. Iain McGilchrist, The Matter with Things: Our Brains, Our Delusions, and the Unmaking of the World (London: Perspectiva Press, 2021).
[6]. Thomas Jay Oord, The Death of Omnipotence and Birth of Amipotence (Grasmere, Id.: SacraSage Press, 2023), 123. Importantly, Oord, qualifies this as “Divine love.” While acknowledging the numerous distinctions one can make between divine and human love, my reference to love in a general sense acknowledges love as sacred or divine in origin. Big picture, I believe the orienting aim of psychotherapy is to facilitate persons participating fully with the world. Such participation includes a moment to moment, divine aim to love self and others well.
[7]. Thomas Jay Oord, Pluriform Love: An Open and Relational Theology of Well-Being (Grasmere, Id.: SacraSage Press, 2022), 35, Kindle.
[8]. John Vervaeke, “Gathering 2021,” Emerge, accessed July 15, 2024, https://www.whatisemerging.com/profiles/john-vervaeke-edba633a-50b3-4dec-920b-967d8f0f2b01.
[9]. Thomas J. Oord et al., eds., Love Does Not Control: Therapists, Psychologists, and Counselors Explore Uncontrolling Love (Grasmere, Id.: SacraSage Press, 2023).